


Why now?

by DontSinkTheShip (orphan_account)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura is mean, Completed, Gen, Keith turns galra, My favourite characters always get hurt, Self Harm, Shiro had PTSD, The paladins can talk to their Lions, attempted suicide, i wrote this at 3am, people are mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9629966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DontSinkTheShip
Summary: After regrouping after the wormhole incident things start to happen people freak out yep I'm bad at summarys,I wrote this at 3am it might not be goodFeel free to re wrote this just comment the link.





	

It had been 4 months since the paladins of Voltron had flown through the corrupted wormhole and lost each other, and 1 month since they had all returned to the palace of lions. Everyone was camped out in the lounge, everyone should be asleep, but because of the recent events all of them were too afraid too, so all of them had gathered under a pile of blankets and pillows, no one ever wanted to be separated from their family ever again.  
"Paladins" Allura started from her place in front of everyone, she didn't want to have this conversation with them but she was worried, "it has been exactly one of your earth months since we have been brought back together, and during this time Coran and I have been doing our best to keep the ship hidden in parts of the galaxy where the galra usually stay away from, but, I'm not sure how long we can keep ourselves hidden, so my thoughts are that if everyone can talk about it you can all heal together, and hopefully quickly, I myself have been trying to help each of you but all of you have been keeping quiet, but I know for a fact that at one point each of you were captured by galra" Allura notices that the paladins all shared looks of surprise, obviously none of them had told each other about what had happened, Allura sighed while taking a seat on the floor in front of everyone, "I know you don't want to but please, no one can help you better than each other" Allura finishes her speech with a reassuring smile.  
Everyone is quiet.  
Hunk looks like he is thinking things over.  
Shiro has a far away look.  
Pidge looks like they might want to say something.  
Keith is keeping his head down.  
Lance is seeing who will speak first.  
"Well if no one is going to talk" Pidge starts, "then I might as well go first" Pidge sits up crossing their legs, they straitened their glasses before speaking again, "when the wormhole spit me out, I landed directly in the middle of galra territory, I didn't have a chance as my lion had been damaged, so I was quickly captured" Pidges mouth turns into a frown, "It was...strange..., well I mean it wasn't good but it wasn't what I was expecting, I was kept in a cell the whole time, being given little food and water, and that was it, nothing else, at all, well that was until you guys had come to rescue me that is" Pidge leans back, finished talking. Lance and Hunk started speaking next, both saying how they had been together the whole time, but it was basically the same as Pidge, nothing worth mentioning.  
Allura was thinking things over,  
"Shiro? Keith how about you two?"  
Shiro looked up and started to speak, "Almost the same as the others, but at one point I was moved to what looked like a lab, probably to work on my arm more, but they never had the chance too because you guys came and saved me instead, I do agree with the rest of you though, the whole time it was pretty quiet, as if they had better things to take care of" The others nodded before Allura spoke once more.  
"It is strange, what about you Keith?"  
Keith stayed quiet still looking down.  
"Keith?" Allura said once more,  
"Huh?, oh yea um mine was basically the same as Pidges" Keith finished talking then looked down again.  
"Hmmm, okay something is going on with the galra, if they didn't put the paladins as their first priority they must be working on something new" Allura said standing up,  
"You all get some rest okay?" Coran and I will see what we can do with this new information.  
None of the paladins had actually wanted to sleep but they couldn't say no to Allura.  
-  
Keith had woken up before everyone else, a headache preventing him from falling back asleep, so he decided to walk around the castle instead. He came to the red lions hanger.  
"Hey red"  
'Hello my Paladin'  
Keith would have said more but a spike of pain shot through his head, red let out a calming purr which helped slightly, Keith decided to go back to his room for a bit  
-  
Every night  
Every. Single. Night.  
Every night since that talk they had all had with Allura, Keith had woken up in the middle of the night, terrified, nightmares plagued his mind, his only problem is that he could never remember what the nightmares were about, but he woke up full of fright anyway, whenever this happened Keith would always go and sleep in reds hanger for the rest of the night.  
-  
Eventually the other paladins would take notice of how tired Keith looked every morning but no one brought it up, ever since they had all been reunited everyone had trouble sleeping, coran and allura had made it their duty to stay away from the galra for a while after what happened a while back. The paladins we're going to get some information from a galra ship, everyone had thought they would be fine, but they weren't, everyone had panicked, terrified of the galra, too scared to fight, they knew they would have to fight eventually and that caused their feelings of being scared of the galra to being angry at them instead, hated them for all the pain they had caused them, and they would stop at nothing to stop zarkon.  
-  
"Paladins!" Coran said walking around everyone, "now I know this little incident has shaken all of you up but don't worry! I'll fix you all up in no time, then I'm sure you all will be skilled enough to form Voltron with your eyes closed! This is the same exercise that we alway do, but instead of memories this one will be dealing with you emotions, but you will have to push those emotions away so you can all form your lions! Now let's start!" Coran finished talking and watched as the paladins all closed their eyes, it was as if he could feel all of their emotions in the air, their anger at the galra,  
Their love for each other,  
Their longing to go home,  
Voltron had almost been completed, but as everyone was connecting it all fell apart in a giant ball of light, the paladins all quickly shot up and removed their headpieces as quickley as possible. The feeling had been so strong that even Allura had come in to see what was going on.  
No one could tell where it came from, but they could all feel the feeling lingering around them,  
The enormous feeling of fear,  
-  
That night Keith had woken up again, he didn't waste a second as he grabbed his jacket, boots and belt and sprinted for the red lion, he quickly found red and climbed into her hanger. The moment her jaw closed Keith broke down, curling himself into a ball onto the floor, shaking with fear.  
He had remembered his dream this time.  
But it wasn't a dream.  
It was his memories.  
Memories of the galra.  
Of Zarkon.  
Of Hagger.  
Of what she had done to him.  
Of what he really was.  
Not even reds purrs could calm Keith as he cried himself to sleep.  
-  
The next morning Keith didn't leave red at all, and to be honest no body really noticed, ever since the mind melding exercise everyone had been on edge, some of them would stay in their rooms for days without coming out, it is true that they had been getting better, and their fear was being replaced with anger once again.  
But Keith stayed put.  
That morning Keith had woken up in the exact place he had fallen asleep, standing he remembered last night, his breathing became rapid as his eyes started to water, luckily red had managed to calm him down this time, Keith slowly moved and sat in his seat, resting his head in his hands.  
"You knew didn't you?"  
'Yes my paladin I had known from the start'  
"And you haven't kicked me out yet?"  
'There is no need to, you are my paladin nothing will ever change that'  
"What do I do red? What if something happens?"  
'My paladin I don't think-'  
"WHAT IF I HURT THEM RED!" Keith cried out his breathing becoming rapid again,  
'My paladin you would never hurt your friends, you are still you'  
Reds words seem to calm Keith a little but he decided to stay with her just in case.  
He could never live with himself if he ever hurt them, the people he had come to consider his family, Keith went to put on his gloves and jacket as red was slightly chilly when he noticed his hand, his fingertips were purple, he wouldn't usually be frightened by this, his hands has been like this ever since his friends had rescued him, but it was different, it almost looked as if the purple was...spreading?.  
"No" Keith said backing into the wall.  
"Nonononononono th-this can't be happening" Keith shouted his hands shaking, Keith's breaths become more and more rapid until he passed out.  
-  
It had been a week, the purple had spread from just covering Keith's fingertips to covering his whole hand, his hair had also changed from black to dark purple, and his ears had become more pointed.  
The other paladins had begun to notice Keith's absence, after a short amount of searching they found him, but Keith wouldn't let anyone in, Shiro had tried to talk to Keith but Keith wouldn't talk, Shiro had told the others that they could all try again later and maybe it's just because of everyone that had happened recently.  
-  
It has been two weeks, and everyone was getting a little bit sick of it, everyone had tried talking to him but Keith never said much,  
Hunk wasn't that mad at Keith just worried.  
Shiro was also worried, he had known Keith the longest and knows that Keith only ever does something like this if something is incredibly wrong.  
Coran blamed it on Keith being a human teenager.  
Allura had tried to convince Keith to come out multiple times, but it's starting to seem that she's more worried about what would happen if the galra were to attack then Keith himself.  
Lance was getting annoyed, thinking Keith was acting like a toddler.  
And pidge...well Pidge was really mad, thinking Keith was being selfish, and that it would be his fault if the galra were to attack and they couldn't form Voltron, but that was mainly because Pidge was running on maximum 4 hours sleep this past week.  
Keith himself was getting worried, the purple was now getting closer to his shoulders, his fingers ending in claws, his ears had changed to dark purple cat like ears, and his eyes, well his eyes had a yellowish tint to them, Keith had no idea what to do anymore, he was weak, and was fainting a lot from only being able to eat and drink the small amount of rations he kept on red, he was also having panicked attacks more often too, his lion was worried about him too.  
-  
That night the red lion decided that she couldn't stand around and let her paladin do this to himself any longer, so she spoke to her fellow lions, the other lions had also knows about Keith's galra origins and had come to accept it, Red asked if one of the other lions could get their own paladins to forcefully get the red paladin to eat and get some decent rest, the other lions agreed of course, also being just as concerned about Keith as the red lion had been.  
-  
It was Pidge that had gone to get Keith, she had gone to make adjustments to the green lions when it had told them about Keith's condition, not all of it though, they left out the past about him being galra, all they said was that he needed food, water and rest, Pidge had been surprised when they had been told about all the times Keith had collapsed, and quickly ran to tell the others, she had gathered everyone in the lounge room and told them all about his situation, they had no idea why he had locked himself away but they were going to find out, Pidge was going to get Keith and bring his to the others so they could all help him.  
"Keith?" Pidge asked knocking on the red lions jaw.  
"Go away Pidge" Keith replied  
"Look I know you haven't been eating...or sleeping and we just want to help you" Pidge said.  
"I said go away" Keith replied again, Pidge was starting to get annoyed, again running on little sleep herself,  
"Red open up" Pidge said standing in front of the red lion,  
"No dont!" Keith started to shout.  
Pidge was getting mad,  
"Open up!" She shouted,  
Red slowly stated to open her jaw and Pidge rushed in, she couldn't see Keith properly, but she could see someone covered in a blanket,  
"Come on already Keith we just want to help you" she grabbed his arm through the blanket and dragged him along with her, usually he would have been much stronger but he was weak from not being able to eat.  
Everyone was delighted to see that Pidge had managed to get Keith, even though Keith had covered himself in a blanket,  
Hunk spoke up first, "Keith we're just really worried"  
Shiro then spoke up, "Keith you can talk to us about anything"  
Then lance, "yea come on mullet head seriously what's up with you"  
Keith didn't say anything,  
"Okay come on Keith" Lance spoke again grabbing the blanket away from Keith"  
"NO DONT!" Keith's shouts had been cut short when he heard gasps around the room, he looked up to see everyone with different reactions, he knew he couldn't hide it anymore, the purple had started seeping into his face yesterday.  
Shiro was the first to react, quickly rushing to pin Keith to the ground, his glowing arm held against his neck,  
"S-Shiro it's me, p-please" Keith started to say,  
"Wait" Allura voice could be heard, "let him speak" Shiro slowly got off of Keith, still armed in case Keith did anything,  
Keith was terrified by the looks of anger and distrust among his fellow paladins faces, Keith's hands stared to shake, "h-hagger had, a-and I-I" he tried to speak but his breaths kept comming faster and faster, "get out" Allura said, Keith looked up, "I SAID GET OUT" Allura screamed, Keith looked around at everyone, tears falling down his face, still shaking he sprinted back to the red lion.  
-  
It had been another week, Keith was fully purple now,  
'The yellow paladin is here again'  
Hunk had been leaving Keith food, but only because the red lion had told the other lions to make sure her cub stayed fed,  
Keith could hear everyone having a conversation, about him, his ears allowed him to hear things from far away,  
"What do we do now?"  
"Is he going to hurt us?"  
"Why does the red lion still trust him?"  
"Is he a spy?"  
"We have to get rid of him"  
"But it's still Keith right?"  
"He could have been tricking us"  
"How long had he known?"  
"Is this why he was kicked out of the garrison?"

"Is he going to kill us?"

Those words, every day they would have similar conversations about him, he knew they were going to get rid of him soon.  
'I won't let them'  
"But red, I-it would be for the-the best"  
'No it's wouldn't'  
"What if I actually hurt them red!"  
Their conversations would always end up like that, Keith believing that he's just a pest that everyone just needs to get rid of.  
-  
The paladins were at a standstill.  
Deciding what to do with Keith,  
Get rid of him,  
Talk to him,  
Use him as a hostage,  
Keep him,  
Kill him.  
Everyone had different opinions, always ending in arguments,  
'What if he knows the truth'  
'But it's still keith'  
'He's a galra'  
'He wouldn't hurt us'  
'But he part of a species that killed my planet'  
'Maybe we should check up on him'  
'What if he attacks us,  
Everyone's thoughts swarming around their own heads, no idea what to do,  
Everyone besides Keith were sat at the table talking,  
"Has anyone's lions started talking to them again?"  
"Nope"  
"No"  
"Still won't"  
"Why do they keep ignoring us?"  
Ever since Keith had come back to red in tears the lions have been angry with their paladins,  
"All we have to do is to get him to come out"  
"And have him kill us all?"  
"That's a bit harsh"  
-  
Keith's nightmares had changed from memories about hagger, to nightmares about his friends, killing him, or him always killing them, convincing him that he is useless, that he shouldn't be here.  
Getting worse and worse every night.  
-  
Keith had woken up sometimes in the late afternoon, he had had enough, everyone hated him, even he hated him, he was just a nuisance to everyone, he slowly got up from the chair and grabbed his knife from his belt, it looked as if red were asleep,  
'Good' he thought, it would make this easier,  
'I'm worthless' Keith thought as he took off his jacket,  
'Everyone hates me' he stood behind the chair,  
'I deserve to die'  
Keith slowly positions the knife by his side, knuckles white as he grips the knife, his hands shake,  
"I have to do this" Keith whispers, "it's for the good of everyone" He starts to push the knife into his side, biting his lips to prevent him from crying out from the pain, a dark red stain starts to seep into his shirt, pressing harder he continues, collapsing onto his knees he cries out, but continues.  
The sounds of Keith's cries had woken the red lion,  
'My paladin! What are you doing!'  
"I have to red, it's for the greater good" Keith cries out pressing the knife deeper into his side, blood starts to drip onto the ground, creating a small puddle.  
Red starts to roar, crying out for help, the other lions join her, trying to get the others attention.  
-  
"what is going on!?" Lance cries out covering his ears, the lions were all roaring loudly, everyone had gathered in the lounge room trying to figure out what was going on,  
'Paladins' the black lions voice filled the room,  
"What's going on?" Hunk cried out,  
'You all have taken this too far' The blue lions voice filled the room.  
"What did we do?" Pidge cried out,  
'Please hurry!' It was the yellow lion who spoke,  
"What's going on!" Shiro yelled,  
'The red paladin is trying take his own life" the green lion said,  
Everyone went quiet,  
"Wait what" Coran said,  
"Are they talking about..." lance started,  
"Keith!" Shiro shouted heading for the door, Allura blocked his path,  
"Shiro..." she started,  
"Allura move!" Pidge shouted from behind Shiro, "but-" Allura was cut off by lance pushing her to the side, everyone sprinted past Allura heading straight for Keith.  
The red lions jaw was already open, so everyone rushed inside, they all found Keith kneeling on the ground in a puddle of deep red blood, tears falling down his face, pushing a knife deeper and deeper into his side.  
Shiro rushed to Keith's side trying to get him to stop,  
"Keith stop doing this let go of the knife" Shiro said putting his hand on top on Keith's trying to get him to stop,  
"I can't shiro" Keith said in between breaths, "everyone hates me, I'm one of them, the enemy" a sob escapes Keith's mouth as his hands start to shake again, everyone can slowely hear him whisper, "i desearve to die",  
"Keith no you don't, your one of us no matter what" Shiro says,  
"Yea exactly this is all our fault stop blaming yourself" Hunk says,  
"No matter what your apart of our family" Pidge says sitting on Keith other side,  
"But Allura-" Keith starts,  
"Fuck Allura" Lance says joining the others sitting around Keith.  
Keith slowly lets go of the knife, hand gripping onto Shiro instead, Keith's sobs cut out by his own coughing instead, Keith starts to cough up blood, tears and blood mix on Keith's face as he falls back,  
"Keith!" The others all shouts as Keith slowly starts to black out.  
-  
Keith had been in the cryopod for a few days, they were lucky to have gotten him there when they did, or he might have actually died.  
When Keith finally got out of the cryopod Shiro had gathered everyone in the lounge room to talk.  
Everyone was seated in silence, Shiro was the first to speak,  
"Keith" he said, "everyone here is sorry for everything, we want to make things right, it was our fault you had felt that way, it was our fault you could have died" Shiro sighed before talking again, "Keith I'm sorry that I attacked you, that I ignored you, I should have know it was still you" Shiro took a seat next to Keith.  
"It's alright" Keith says quietly fiddling with his hands,  
"No" lance spoke up, "it's not alright" lance stood and sat on the other side of Keith, "it's all our fault! You could have died Keith!, we made you think that we wanted you dead! It's was all our fault"  
"Lance It's-" Keith started,  
"Stop saying that" Pidge join in on the conversation, "we hurt you Keith, and it's okay if you hate us for it, but just remember this you are, and will always be apart of our family" Pidge sat next to Shiro.  
"Keith I'm sorry, we're all sorry" Hunk cries bursting into tears while sitting next to lance. It was Allura who stood next, after they had made sure Keith was safe they all had a big discussion about the was she reacted to him.  
"Keith, I have learnt that they way I have treated you, and the was I acted was wrong, and despite the the fact that you may not be part human...please know that you will always be one of us, I'm sorry" Allura bowed her head.  
"I'm sorry too" Keith said shyly,  
"F-for not telling you" Keith looked up at the sound of lances gasp,  
"Is this an apology!" Lance says standing up,  
"Lance no"  
"An apology from Keith Kogan!" Lance lays across everyone's laps,  
"Lance no"  
Everyone had erupted into laughter,  
"Thanks you guys" Keith said,  
"AND HE SAID THANK YOU TOO, OH MY GOD"  
"LANCE SHUT UP!"  
While laughing hunk brought everyone into a giant group hug.  
"So Keith" Pidge says as hunk lets go of everyone,  
"Yea Keith says,  
"Can I pet your ears?"

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it hope you like it  
> The story itself may not be the best  
> You can re write a better version if you want but comment the link to I can love your story


End file.
